soup/title> </head> <body bgcolor=navy text=black> <center> <table width =75% border=1 cellpadding=10> <tr> <td bgcolor=black align=middle colspan=2> <font color= white size=6>How To Eat Fish</font> </td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor=white colspan=2 align=middle> <font size =5><b>Bouillabaisse</b></font> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor=#DDDEFB > <p>is foreign, and nearly as difficult to pronounce as it is to spell. You don't want to go eating <I> that </I>sort of stuff. Well, okay, you probably <I>do</I>, but I don't happen to have a recipe for it in my head, and I can't be bothered going and looking one up.</P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2"><I>But.....</I></FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+1">... what I <I> do </I>have indelibly burned into my frontal lobes is a recipe for Moules Mariniers:</P> <P>1 kg live mussels<BR> 1 ounce of butter<BR> 1 small onion, or a couple of shallots, chopped,<BR> 1 particularly mean clove of garlic, chopped<BR> lots of chopped parsley<BR> sea salt<BR> a nice bottle of white wine<BR> 1 cat</P> Scrub the barnacles off the mussels, pull off the stringy threads and leave them in salty water for an hour or so. Discard any that are open, broken, funny smelling, or fans of Dumpy's Rusty Nuts.<br><br> Saute the onion/shallots in half the butter, add the chopped garlic and fry a few seconds more, then tip all the mussels into the pan and listen to their horrible death screams as they succumb to the boiling....er... sorry.. Tip in a large glassful of wine, the rest of the butter and cook on a high heat for about five or six minutes, or until all the mussels are dead, dead, I tell you! Throw in some sea salt - hey, what do you care about your blood pressure, yeah? Chuck the parsley in last, if you remember. <br><br> Serve with lots of lovely, fresh, crusty French bread (Yes, you should have bought that beforehand. Yes, it is too late to go out and get some now. No, a couple of slices of Mother's Pride will not do just as well.)<br><br> Drink the rest of the wine.<br><br> Open another bottle of wine and drink that too<br><br> Think of more cruel and unnatural fates to visit upon innocent bivalves.<br><br> pass out.<br><br> ..... oh yeah, the cat.... It'll lick the plates clean for you....<br><br></font> <center><a href="dead.htm"><img src="gif/fish.gif"><br>truth is beauty</a></center> <hr width=75%> <br> And yet another great fish recipe sent in by our Reader!<br><br> <i>One cat-food sized can of tuna, in water unless you like the greasy stuff<br> One boiled egg, peeled and chopped<br> a dash of garlic<br> One chopped scallion/green onion<br> heaping spoon of sweet pickle relish<br> large dollop of mayo<br><br> Stir in a bowl, slap between two pieces of wheat bread, and wolf down. Goes good with milk, beer, not so well with wine I'm afraid though. Not too good with coke either. These are killer to get in your sack lunch, as they get soggy by noon and you can throw them at your schoolmates if they hassle you.</i> <br><br><br> <A HREF="index.htm">swim back home</A> </td> </tr </table> </center>